Spike Lee Says USA Most Violent Nation In History (Video)

Film maker and ignorant moron Spike Lee says that the United States is the most violent nation in the history of the world. I know that you are smart enough to know that this is utter bullcrap. Not only is history littered with examples of nations that were far more violent to other nations as well as genocidal toward large portions of their own populations, the same can be found today. Can somebody please send Spike Lee a one-way ticket to Venezuela? Please? Better yet, if anyone has a time machine, please send him back to Germany, circa 1940.

Decade In Review? Uhm, There's Another Year to Go

Here's a funny post about end-of-the-year articles that try to analyze and review the previous decade. Andy Borowitz manages to make a fool of himself by mocking those who do so, in a hilariously ironic twist. Borowitz wrote a short piece at the Huffington Post in which he said, "Between now and New Year's, gas-bags of every stripe will be offering their bloated reviews of the decade about to end." The Andy Borowitz bio at HuffPo says he's a comedian. Uh huh. Perhaps he was trying to be funny, then, and is not as stupid as this dumb passage in his brief little post makes him seem: "The decade began with Bush f---ing the voters and ended with Tiger f---ing everyone else." Andy Borowitz probably spent hours crafting what he thought was a clever tie-in of G.W. Bush and Tiger Woods. He failed embarrassingly, but the libtards who follow him probably think he's a crafty wordsmith. Aside from the crudity of it, that sentence shows an incredible ignorance of both the calendar and of arithmetic. Bush took office in 2001, but Borowitz refers indirectly to the Florida ballot confusion of the 2000 presidential election. 2000 was the last year of that decade, not the beginning of one. In reality, it Bill Clinton who ended the decade of 1991-2000 by f---ing the economy and our military and intelligence services. For a good part of that decade, Clinton and was about as busy as a tiger f---ing any skirt that got near him. As for Tiger, he was busy being busy in 2009, which is not the last year of this decade. Here, let me explain it for you, just in case you're as stupid as Andy Borowitz. See, 2010 is NOT the first year of a new decade. 2010 is the last year of this decade, the one we are currently in. Someone should explain to Borowitz that the "10" in 2010 means that it is the 10th year in the decade. Gad, we just went through this nonsense in 1999, when the math-and-calendar challenged crowd thought that 2000 would be the first year of the new milliennium when, in fact, 2001 was. See, the "1" in 2001 is your clue. Try this little excercise. Count to ten. One, two, three... and so on. When you get to 10, you will proceed to eleven. See the "1" at the end of 11? Another clue: You're now starting the next ten. "9" was not the last of the first 10, and 2009 is not the last of the first 10 years of this decade. Got it? Although we have another year left in this decade, let me be the first to nominate Andy Borowitz as "Gregorian Loser of the Decade." I may be premature with that, but I suspect that nobody will write a dumber post about "the end of the decade" than the witless Borowitz has managed. Leave a Comment * Conservative T-Shirts * Follow CNB on Twitter * RSS Feed

This Post is Really Stoopid

(Nasty Language Advisory) But it sure am funny. I post videos to YouTube. (Who doesn't, right?) On most of my videos (not all), I disable the commenting for two simple reasons: First, 99.9% of comments to videos are written by semi-literate imbeciles who simply want to misdirect the anger that they still hold for their abusive parents. It's not much different than comments to most blogs. Second, why should I waste my time moderating useless rants from useless imbeciles? Of course, now and then one of those imbeciles crawls under the door and sends a comment to my YouTube inbox. Here's one now, from "charlieclockwork" on July 26: I like how disable the ability to add comments to the vids of yours that pretty much any TRUE Chicagoan would call you a pansy ass fag for giving people shit for pretty much almost completley stopping on a dead traffic day with no school in session. Everyone agrees with me and thats why your bitch ass won't let people comment. your an oversensitive duchebag, get out of MY city and go to a farm community where real life isn't happenig!! dork!! Rogers Park eats pussys liike you everyday for a snack, Morse ave CrazY bitch. Of course, I could not resist replying: Uhm, did I not just read a comment from you? I think I did! Thanks for writing. I am happy to know that my videos elicit such passionate, well-written, intelligent comments from geniuses such as you. Perhaps I should reconsider my commenting policy here. After all, having more well-crafted, thoughtful comments such as the one I am responding to would surely add to the general knowledge base of Mankind. I do, sometimes, allow commenting on videos if I think it might pull in some perspective. One such video is "Anti-Violence March, Parade in Uptown, Chicago." From 94 viewings, "Scardataz" wrote this helpful comment on August 1: THATS NICE FUCK IT UP UPLIFT  LOOK YEAH If anybody knows what that means, please let me know. I'm not sayin' it a bad comment, just that it's confusing and really doesn't add anything. Plus, it contains the word "fuck," which I never allow to be used on Chicago News Bench. Know what I'm sayin'? So, that's why I generally don't accept comments. Horrible grammar, lousy spelling, drug-induced fuzzy thoughts, incomplete rambling sentences ... I don't need it, not on a regular basis. But I admit that it makes for a stoopid-but-fun post now and again. Are YOU a citizen of the United STRAIGHTS of America?

Revenge for Screwed Chicago Parkers

Parking in the City of Chicago is a nightmare, generally. The idiots in the City Council ("Clowncil") and the idiot Mayor Daley just keep making it more difficult for people to park their cars. This, of course, hurts merchants, which hurts employees, which hurts everybody. Still, the morons (mostly Democrats) who think they can run your lives couldn't even run the damned parking meters in this City With Sagging Shoulders, so they privatized them. That deal has resulted in one of the largest cluster f#@%s in world history. 

The rushed deal to privatize the meters was made for about one billion dollars less than it should have been, to the city's disadvantage and to the advantage of LAZ. Chicago's Mayor Daley is lately busy making excuses about his massive frittering away of the city's parking meter to private corporation LAZ. The complicit City Clowncil members are busy pretending they opposed the deal, when in fact the whole thing was "debated" for only an hour or so prior to being rubber stamped. Meanwhile, the people continue to be screwed every way to Sunday with parking tickets, booted cars, fines, court time, frustration and infuriating inconvenience. 

Which brings us to "The Expired Meter," a web site that promises to help you get revenge. The person who operates the site calls him/herself "The Parking Geek." He/she explains the motivation behind the clever - and useful - web site:

As a driving Chicagoan for nearly 20 years, I have received many, many, many parking tickets. I have bright orange seared into my retinas.I have paid the city hundreds of dollars in fines. An embarrassing amount. I am, obviously, an idiot. Eventually, I got angry at all the parking tickets I was getting. Because the majority were issued improperly. So I started fighting back…and winning. Over the years, despite basically failing at everything else, I became very good at beating Chicago parking tickets.Now, as my plan to get revenge on the city, I want to share my knowledge and teach other Chicago drivers how to beat their parking tickets, rip the cash out of the city’s dirty, greedy hands and put that money back in your wallet.

Revenge is sweet, and so is The Expired Meter web site.

Post Script: It is ironic that the Chicago City Council, a virtually-100% Democrat body, was in such a hurry to privatize something as relatively straightforward as parking meters. It is ironic because they would all tell you that they favor socialized health care (government-run health care, nationalized health care, Obama-care, Hillary-care, whatever you want to call it). Think about it: They can't even manage parking meters, so they push it into private sector hands. 

Yet those same people push the idea of government-run health care, eager to pull it out of the private sector's hands. Although the parking meters are a "local" issue, and the health care debate is national, it should be remembered that any national health care program that is passed will be administered on the local levels. In Chicago, those administrators will most likely be politically connected apparatchiks of the fool Richard M. Daley and his circus of fools on the City Clowncil. Finally, Barack Obama and many top advisors are - and forever will be - former Chicago Machine Democrats. Just because they've been elected or appointed to higher office does not mean they have suddenly acquired the wisdom to run our health care system - let alone a system as simple as a city's parking meters.

Obama Supporter Mocks the Mentally Ill

Ah, gad, an email from local lunatic "RogersParkPlace" (RPP). He/she/it is one of those people who feels very brave while anonymously lurking and sniping in the comments of blogs and other web sites. If he/she/it had any testicular virility, he/she/it would use his/her/its real name. But that's a distraction. Let's get to the highly amusing email sent to The Bench today: You are officially no longer a journalist. Your insane rantings about Obama have done nothing but prove you have lost touch with reality, will print anything that anyone tells you and will, with any luck, soon be institutionalized. Will it be your first time in such a facility? You know. For a little rest? Now, let's break it down: "You are officially no longer a journalist," he/she/it wrote. News flash: In the United States, there is no official status for journalists, and RogersParkPlace certainly is in no position to grant or revoke such a status even it existed. As an Obama supporter and a Leftist, RogersParkPlace is comfortable with the notion of an official status for journalists and, by extension I suppose, writers in general. This fits well with the way Obama has been intimidating journalists nationwide. "Your insane rantings about Obama have done nothing but prove you have lost touch with reality, will print anything that anyone tells you..." Well, I printed what you told me. (Hmmm, perhaps I am a little bit crazy.) In fact, I don't publish everything I am told about Obama. I have rejected many "news" stories about Obama because, after checking them out, I found them to be untrue or from less than reliable sources. So, RPP, that is untrue. "...and will, with any luck, soon be institutionalized. Will it be your first time in such a facility? You know. For a little rest?" How kind, how compassionate of RPP, a "Liberal," to wish me such a fate. Gee, RPP, I wouldn't wish that on you, and I'm the mean conservative. You seem to be saying that mental illness is to be shunned, mocked, looked down upon. Now, how does that fit with your Liberal world view? It would, by the way, be my first time, but you seem to imply that people who have been institutionalized are bad in some way. Shame on you. Your view fits in with that of the Soviet Union and other places, where dissenters were locked up in mental institutions. Of course, since you are an Obama supporter and a Leftist, that doesn't surprise me. Thanks for your email, Comrade RogersParkPlace. If Obama wins on Tuesday, will you get a job with his new Department of Politically Correct Thought? Now, enjoy this little video:

Voter Registration Offered to Dead Fish (Really!)

Yes, really, according to Associated Press. And, of course, the dead goldfish was offered the chance to register to vote in ... Illinois. Yup, and ACORN had nuttin' ta do wid it. It was just more of the same, incomprehesibly incompetence from the the Government. You know the Government, don'cha? Sure, they're the imbeciles that many of you want to take over our health care system. Good God, people, connect the damned dots already, will ya? According to AP, "...election officials in Chicago's northern suburbs want to know why voter registration material was sent to the dead goldfish." Yes, we'd all like to know. FULL ARTICLE... (with hearty hat tip to Chicago Bungalow)

New Media: Imbeciles Can Publish, Too

The bigger you get, the more ankle biters you should expect. I'm getting a lot of ankle biters lately, and I'd like to thank them for acknowledging The Bench. Joe Moore, the discredited alderman of Chicago's 49th Ward, recently called me "discredited." Hmmm...

This begs the question: If The Bench is "discredited," why do so many people in Rogers Park devote so much time to carefully reading every word I write, and examining every graphic I post? The only answer is that they understand that The Bench is not, in fact, discredited.

There is blog called "The Stench," which came into being recently. I will not honor them with a link; find it yourself. The Stench regularly libels me. Ah well, goes with the territory. The coward (or cowards) who operate The Stench do not have the courage or pride of authorship to reveal their true identities. Amusingly, and pitifully, The Stench loves to call me a liar, but they feature this "disclaimer":

FICTITIOUS DISCLAIMER. The example nations, companies, organizations, products, domain names, e-mail addresses, logos, people, places, events, and disclaimers depicted herein are fictitious. No association with any real company, organization, product, domain name, email address, logo, person, places, events, or disclaimers is intended or should be inferred.

PARODIC DISCLAIMER. The example nations, companies, organizations, products, domain names, e-mail addresses, logos, people, places, events, and disclaimers are depicted herein solely for purposes of parody. No serious or sincere explanation as to facts or truthfulness regarding any real company, organization, product, domain name, email address, logo, person, places, events, or disclaimers is intended or should be inferred.

There is so much about The Stench's poorly worded disclaimer that is wrong, too much to fully examine here. But let's look at a few of the more obvious bad elements:

Item One: It begins by calling itself a "Fictitious Disclaimer." So, is the disclaimer itself "fictitious," or not real? Put the adjective "fictitious" in front of a noun and the noun is suddenly, well, fictitious. For example, a "fictitious character" is one that is imaginary and does not really exist. To have a "fictitious character," for example, named "Anne Sullivan" is fine, if said character is a beautiful woman who works on a farm in Nebraska and loves horses. If, on the other hand, your "fictitious character" is an alcoholic woman who has fallen off the wagon and works for Alderman Joe Moore in Chicago's 49th Ward, well, that's a bit too real to be considered fictitious.

But that is what The Stench does. It uses my real name, cites my actual activities, and so on, to the point where no reasonable person - or judge - would believe The Stench's disclaimer. Perhaps coward/s who writes The Stench unconsciously called it a "Fictitious Disclaimer" knowing this.

Item Two: The disclaimer says that "The example nations, companies, organizations, products, domain names, e-mail addresses, logos, people, places, events, and disclaimers depicted herein are fictitious. No association with any real company, organization, product, domain name, email address, logo, person, places, events, or disclaimers is intended or should be inferred." This is obviously a lie. If, in fact, "association with any real company, organization, product, domain name, email address, logo, person, places, events, or disclaimers" were really not intended, then the entire purpose of The Stench would be null.

Item Three: "No serious or sincere explanation as to facts or truthfulness regarding any real company, organization, product, domain name, email address, logo, person, places, events, or disclaimers is intended or should be inferred." Let's shorten that, to help understand it. "No serious or sincere explanation as to facts or truthfulness….is intended or should be inferred." In other words, the coward/s who writes The Stench is trying (poorly) to tell us that none of the libel they publish is true. The "fictitious disclaimer" is itself a cynical lie.

The coward/s who writes The Stench lies about lying. That's quite a feat, even for a liar.

Idiocy, Ignorance in Rogers Park

A typical comment from a typical idiot in atypical Rogers Park: Oddly, Tom titles his Morsleand rant: SHUTTING OUT THE MEDIA: PART ONE, yet in a later comment on the same subject states: "This was not a news story...it's a blog posting." So, is he "media" or just another online guy with something to rant about? Is his outrage based on a bar throwing out "the media" or just that HE was thrown out? Hey, Dummy, "media" is everything from a Disney cartoon to CNN or Fox News. "Media" is Mad Magazine to the Wall Street Journal. And let me repeat myself for you imbeciles in the Attention Deficit Generation: I was not thrown out. I never went in that night. I chose to stop going there.

Ted Kennedy Almost Dead

UPDATED: Update: Kennedy Did Not Have a Stroke I would never wish bad health on the vile pig Ted Kennedy, but I gotta ask: Is he in a county hostpital somewhere, in a public health system similar to Cook County's hellish network of nightmares? No, he was taken to Massachusetts General Hospital for further examination. Mass Gen is owned by Partners HealthCare, a private non-profit. Comparison: Quality-wise, it would be like a Chicagoan going to Northwestern University Hospital or University of Chicago Hospital. No, Ted Kennedy opted for first-class, high quality health care. You know, the kind he and his Fellow Travelers would like to destroy with their Marxist health care dreams. BOSTON - Sen. Edward M. Kennedy was hospitalized Saturday after becoming ill at his home, his office said. There was no immediate word on his condition. FULL STORY... There was no immediate comment from the family of Mary Jo Kopechne either, but rumor is that they are keeping their fingers crossed.

Avy Meyers Foie Gras Cartoon

What does Avy Meyers, the biggest suckup to the Democrat Machine in all of Cook County, have to say about Joe Moore's foie gras meltdown?

Meyers has one of the most annoying, amateurish interview shows in history. It's a never ending parade of party hacks, and he tapes them in his musty home in Rogers Park.

Hell if I know, but we can imagine.

Click cartoon to enlarge it.

Roundeye, The Band of Idiots

From: "Roundeye" roundeyesucks@gmail.com Roundeye has left a new comment on your post "Anti-Military Hate Crime in Rogers Park": Hey Tom, the fake "rocket" is a PROP from a movie - under siege, the one that Michael James had a cameo appearance in, but you wouldn't know that, because you don't come here. So, please learn to tell the truth, and get your facts correct before opening your mouth. Roundeye, you're a pitiful imbecile. You're criticizing me for writing about the "broken Navy missile (it's a fake) perched atop the Heartland..." Uhm, according to you, that's wrong because... it's actually a PROP! Did you eat too much Lead Flakes for breakfast yesterday? What the hell do you think the difference between "prop" and "fake" is? Here's a little clue, dumb ass: NOTHING. Is the rest of your band as stupid as you are? Say, who designed that childish logo of yours?