Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label political satire. Show all posts

Hunter, The Magazine For Senators' Sons

Chill, this is just satire
We've put together a new magazine called "Hunter," designed with children of the privileged and politicians in mind. It's inspired by Hunter Biden. He's the son of Joe Biden, one of the most corrupt and dishonest US senators, vice presidents and presidents in history. 

But it's that very corruption and dishonesty that shaped Hunter into the man he is today. Papa Joe describes Hunter as "the most intelligent guy I know," and considering the people Joe hangs out with, we don't doubt it. 

This seems like a good place to quote rock band Credence Clearwater Revival's song, Fortunate One:

Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays "Hail to the chief",
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord,

It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me;
I ain't no fortunate one, no,
Yeah!

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes

Exclusive: In Secret Meeting, Scott Walker Advised Rahm Emanuel To Use "Nuclear Option" Against Striking Teachers (Satire)

Sept. 17, 2012 - Special Report - In the days just before the Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) went on strike (now in its sixth day) Mayor Rahm Emanuel was desperate for a quick solution.

Completely fake photo, so relax
Emanuel was not getting the expected level of support
from his own Democratic Party that he had hoped for and so he turned to a neighbor to the north: Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, well known for his anti-public sector union legislation.

Sources told Chicago News Bench late yesterday that Emanuel was "very dismayed" early on by contentious negotiations with the CTU. "President Obama indicated that Mayor Emanuel would get no support from the White House," said the source, "but several prominent Republicans phoned the mayor to privately express their support."

One of those Republicans, said the source, was U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc), who later came out publicly to support Emanuel in his fight with the CTU. Ryan is running for Vice President as Mitt Romney's running mate. Another Republican was Gov. Scott Walker, who phoned the mayor in late August to give moral support to Chicago's mayor. It was during that call that Emanuel asked Walker if he would be willing to meet with him in Kenosha, in the southeastern part of Wisconsin just north of the Illinois border.

Our source, a member of Emanuel's mayoral staff, said that the mayor was "pleasantly surprised" when Walker agreed. During the last weekend of August, the two men each flew to Kenosha by helicopter - Walker from Madison, Emanuel from Chicago - and secretly met in a park on the edge of town "for about two hours."

Emanuel told Walker that he planned to allow the CTU to strike for a week, said our source, "just to make it look like he was negotiating in good faith." However, says the source, Emanuel never really planned to agree to all of the demands of the CTU, which the source says Emanuel called "absurd and insulting."

The "Nuclear Option"




"I was with them," said our source,
"walking with them in the park. I was carrying Mayor Emanuel's briefcase and heard the whole conversation. Walker advised Rahm to let it play out, as he put it, for a week and then use what he called the 'nuclear option' of getting an injunction against the union."

In fact, that is what Emanuel did. Lawyers for the Chicago Public Schools (CPS) asked a Cook County Circuit Court to order the teachers back to work. CPS says that the strike violates Illinois state law. In its   motion to the court, CPS said that the strike is "a clear and present danger to public health and safety."

"Governor Walker actually told Rahm to use that phrase," said our source. "He said calling the strike a 'clear and present danger' would make it sound all scary and serious. Mayor Emanuel really liked that and said he would pass that on to Chicago School Board President David Vitale."

"Mayor Emanuel felt a lot better about the situation after meeting with Governor Walker," our source said. "I think he's really grateful for the support and the advice." Emanuel and Walker continue to talk regularly on the phone about the developing and still unresolved teachers strike.

(Videos) Animated Joker Obama Speaks!

That now famous Obama-as-joker picture has been animated, and in these videos he's at his best. Actual audio powers these videos. In the first video here, Fool Obama makes that goofy Post Office vs. FedEx speech. It's set to the actual audio of a speech made by The Idiot Obama, who tripped over words and logic without teleprompter notes to guide him. The most amazing thing about the speech is that Obama defeats his own argument for government run healthcare by saying that FedEx and UPS are doing better than the Post Office! The Post Office is run by the government and is more than a billion dollars in the red. That's supposed to be an argument in favor of government run healthcare? In the second video, we hear Moron Obama make that famous "inhalator" speech. How the hell did this idiot get elected? Hat tip to Another Black Conservative. Oh, and here's a special link just for hypcritical, whiney Liberals Are YOU a citizen of the United STRAIGHTS of America? Leave a Comment... Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...

Report Right-Wingers on Your iPhone

Are YOU a citizen of the United STRAIGHTS of America? Leave a Comment... Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...

Obama as The Little Dictator

Have fun with this, kids.
Click to enlarge. Photo manipulation done with Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI

I Just Soiled Myself, But It's Okay!

You can soil yourself too! How? It's easy! Just click over to iOwnTheWorld.com for the funniest and wittiest political satire on the web today. You'll just love the feeling of losing all control of your bowels as you laugh hysterically at the brilliant cartoons and writing from those lovable lunatics. Soil yourself today, at iOwnTheWorld.com! Don't be embarassed by incontinence ever again. Just blame it on iOwnTheWorld.com. RELATED: Leave a Comment... See Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...

Obama's Ten Commandments

Special thanks to The Patriot Update for compiling this oh-so-special list, and to my friend GeOrge for bringing it to my attention. Here it is: I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.) SOURCE II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore. SOURCE III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama. SOURCE IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy. SOURCE V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money. SOURCE VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby. SOURCE VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed. SOURCE VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives. SOURCE IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian. SOURCE X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet. SOURCE Click here for the original online version at the Patriot Update. Leave a Comment... See Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...

Good King Rich (Daley), a Musical Satire

Friend Matthew Farmer and his merry band, The Blue State Cowboys, have done it again. They've gotten a reputation for sharply skewering the idiots we call politicians here in Illinois, and they hit Left and Right equally. This one, "Good King Rich," hits communist dictator Richard Daley with some wicked lyrics and a catchy tune to boot. Check this one out, below, then check out more videos from Matthew Farmer and The Blue State Cowboys. Leave a Comment... See Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...

Obama Man Can!

This funny video features Greg Morton, a Canadian comedian who can sing pretty well too. Morton does his "Obama Man," to the tune of "The Candy Man." Taped as he performed it live on the Bob & Tom Show. See Comments... Visit Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed Hey! ChiNewsBench is on Twitter

Economic Stimulus Payment Defined

This is going around the Internet. Subject: Economic Stimulus Payment (ESP) defined... This year, taxpayers received an Economic Stimulus Payment. For those of you who still don't understand the purpose of the ESP, here is an explanation of it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Chile, Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala. If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America! You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the U.S. See Comments... Visit Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed Hey! ChiNewsBench is on Twitter

Sotomayer Skeleton in Closet

ALG Editor’s Note: William Warren’s award-winning cartoons published at GetLiberty.org are a free service of ALG News Bureau. They may be reused and redistributed free of charge. Leave a Comment Here... See our cool merchandise... Chicago News Bench RSS Feed Hey! ChiNewsBench is on Twitter