Economic Stimulus Payment Defined

This is going around the Internet. Subject: Economic Stimulus Payment (ESP) defined... This year, taxpayers received an Economic Stimulus Payment. For those of you who still don't understand the purpose of the ESP, here is an explanation of it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Chile, Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala. If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America! You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the U.S. See Comments... Visit Our Online Store Chicago News Bench RSS Feed Hey! ChiNewsBench is on Twitter