Caught On Camera! Chicago Couple Gets Busy On Public Sidewalk

SHOCKING PHOTOS BELOW:
August 12, 2012 - Chicago - The shameless act of two Rogers Park residents was caught on camera yesterday afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny day in the Rogers Park neighborhood on Chicago's north side. I walked along the quiet 1000 block of W. Pratt Avenue, nestled between N. Sheridan Road and Lake Michigan.

Unexpectedly, I ran into a couple making love on the sidewalk, in full view of everyone. Children were nearby, and these two love bugs were completely uninhibited. They were aware of me, I believe, but continued their lustful act even as I knelt just inches away from them, camera in hand. This was the hottest cicada on cicada action I've ever witnessed.

I'm fairly certain that these were the Tibicen linnei species. One was approximately 1.5 inches long from "nose" to the back end of its wings. The other (the female?) was a bit shorter. Both of them were completely naked, naturally, as they exchanged bodily fluids and empty promises to love each other forever and ever. 

For those of you who thought you going to see a naked couple of humans getting busy, shame on you.

And here's a note to the imbeciles at Google AdSense: You're blocking ads on this blog for a damned post about insect mating, you morons.


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Urban Dictionary Defines 'Harry Reid' As Sexual Position

She stood there naked, wanting it, but he was clueless.
It was like trying to seduce Harry Reid.

Urban Dictionary is a source that many people consult when they hear a befuddling phrase or word. While "Harry Reid" is not a confusing phrase - it's the name of a jerk U.S. Senator from Nevada - it does have a meaning other than that jerk's name. Or, at least, that's what Urban Dictionary now says.

So, what's a "Harry Reid?" Urban Dictionary defines it as a "sexual position where you climb on top and then do absolutely nothing. Named for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV)."

Why would they name a sex act after Harry  Reid? As Urban Dictionary explains, it's for his lack of leadership and, essentially, being a do-nothing politician. One of the examples of how to use the phrase "Harry Reid" in a sentence:

"He talked a big game, but it turns out he was completely clueless. It was like sleeping with 'Harry Reid'."

And why not? It's only fitting that one of the top clowns in the Democrat Party should have a sexual position named after him. After all, Democrats are obsessed with sex. The only irony is that Reid is one of the least likely in his party to actually get any.

What Atheists Cry Out During Sex

Fight Back Against Same-Sex Boredom

Discretion Advised: This post is about sex and will refer to sexual acts. You okay with that? Alright, then read on. All this talk about same-sex marriage make be think about the millions of unhappy couples worldwide who are cursed by this sad situation. They are trapped, having the same sex over and over again, with no variety. Studies show that this kind of behavior causes boredom in a marriage and can even lead to divorce. You may know what I'm talking about. The same position every morning, noon, afternoon and night. It bores me, that's for damn sure. Some of my former same-sex partners were women with no imaginations. Same sexy negligee every night. Like what, they only had one sexy negligee? Ridiculous, and more to the point, boring. Ladies, some advice: Never wear the same negligee for two sessions in a row of sexual activity. Men, try brushing your teeth before engaging in coitus with your wife. She'll appreciate it, and the novelty will stimulate her. Positions are important, too. Missionary is perfectly fine. But every damned time? Use your imagination. For those of you with no imagination, pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra. Read it. Live it. Variety, as they say, is an entertainment magazine. It's also the spice of life. Here are six exclusive sex tips from Chicago News Bench: 1) Blindfold each other and play naked pin-the-donkey with your partner. 2) Dress up like CTA train station attendants and pretend you're helping someone through the turnstile. 3) Cover yourselves with compost and pretend that you're free-love hippies. 4) Get dressed, go to a restaurant, and remind everyone you see that you're both completely naked under your clothing. This will make both of your hot and ready for after dinner fun. 5) Get undressed, go to a restaurant, and deny that you're naked to anyone who challenges you. This will make both of your hot and ready for after dinner fun. 6) Pretend that you're the local alderman who's come over to discuss a big pothole, but one thing turns into another and then... well, you know, the alderman offers to fill the hole personally, if you catch my meaning. With just a little effort, you can help rid the world of the scourge of same-sex marriage. Come on fellow breeders! Spice it up! Now watch the extremely vanilla - but funny in a weird way - video below as two very boring women discuss really old ideas for defeating same-sex boredom. RELATED: Spice up your sex life US Catholic bishops: spice up your marriage with pillow fights and ... CommieBama Hats and More Chicago News Bench RSS Feed Follow ChiNewsBench on Twitter

The Chemistry of Love

I am reminded that Valentine's Day is the next "holiday" coming up. The next big commercial one, anyway, and I spotted this story about love. Or lust, or chemical reactions. Whatever. Attraction to another is what we're talking about. According to a report at the BBC, a professor wrote an article for Nature in which he claims that love, or attraction to another, is simply the result of your brain's chemical stew and how it's being stirred up at any particular moment. All those dead poets were wrong, he seems to be saying. Professor Larry Young of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia contends that you really don't need tricks such as raw oysters, candy, or (one would suppose), baubles to set a romantic mood. Prof. Young may or may not like the notion or "romance," inasmuch as he's distilled the whole business down to flashing neurons and chemical reactions. Poor Prof. Young is probably very "book smart," but seems to know little about life outside the lab. I will tell you from first hand experience, shared with millions of other men over the centuries, that Prof. Young is full of crap. He has apparently never presented a bouquet of flowers to a woman, or seen a lady's eyes light up (and saliva begin to flow) when she is given an expensive jewel or a box of Godiva chocolates. Perhaps the good professor knows much about chemicals, and I don't doubt for a moment that what he claims is partially to blame for feelings of physical attraction to another. (Prof. Young, by the way, is not breaking any ground here; this theory has been put forth many times by many others previously.) While I agreed that chemicals and, yes, instinct play their parts in the whole scheme, I also know from decades of personally conducted experiments that gifts also play a role, contrary to what Prof. Young claims. Sure, those chemical reactions upstairs may help to open the door to the cellar, if you grok my meaning, but what the prof seems to not understand is that any chemical reaction needs a catalyst. A candle light dinner, a diamond ring, tickets to a play, or just a kind gesture and a smile can provide the catalyst that gets the chemicals reacting. I suggest that Professor Young get out of his laboratory and into a nightclub pronto. He might learn a few things that his test tubes and centrifuges can't teach him. Subscribe to Chicago News Bench

French Are Bigger Dicks

French men, allegedly, need larger condoms than Greek men. The geopolitical ramifications of this bit of news has yet to be measured. This news comes from a German company: The study by the Singen-based Institute of Condom Consultancy was done by asking 10,500 men in 25 countries to measure their penis and enter the number into a database. The results show Frenchmen on average claim to need 15.48cm-long condoms, about 3cm longer than Greeks, whose condom-size requirement was the most modest. (Source) The Germans are confident that, despite this news, they could take Paris in a weekend again if they wanted to. Greek officials have not returned our phone calls.

Sarah Palin's Daughter Is Preggers

Hey, now! How the heck did THAT happen? Bristol Palin, 17 year old daughter of John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin, has revealed that her daughter is in a family way. Now, mind you, it is unlikely that Gov. Palin had anything to do with the conception. Very doubtful. So, really, this is not a skeleton in a closet because it's an open secret. Wait, wait, it's not a secret. See? It will be fun to see all the Murphy Brown types belittle a young woman for getting pregnant out of wedlock, and for two reasons. First, because it would be hypocritical for that crowd to criticize a pregnancy made out of wedlock. This, of course, will delight the critics. (BTW, it is not hypocritical for me to defend Bristol. See, I don't mean to brag, but.... I, too, have had sex out of wedlock. Whew, there, it's out in the open. I feel better.) Second, because the Palins say that daughter Bristol plans to marry the "young man" who is the father of her child. That negates the Murphy Brown angle. This, of course, will confuse the critics, many of whom see marriage as a bad institution that should be destroyed but know that they can't yet openly attack it. (Say, wouldn't a Rose Garden wedding be lovely?) I mean, it's not like the pregnant Palin daugher committed a crime. You know, it's not like Joe Biden's Son, Brother Involved In Hedge-Fund Scandal or like Al Gore's Son Arrested Again on Drug Charges. It's not even like Ted Kennedy's son crashes in police chase, you know? This should make Democrats very happy. ("But, Tom, why will that make them happy?" you ask.) Because they know that Gov. Palin will soon become a grandmother. That's a beautiful thing. Democrats, with their professed recently-raised standards of "family values," will welcome another baby into the world. They will see this as a beautiful addition to a beautiful family. It's beautiful. I'm getting misty eyed. There are other reasons, of course. Traditionally, Democrats have been against abstinence-only sex education. So, it should please many Democrats to know that Gov. Palin's daughter, uhm, did not abstain, just as hundreds of millions of other young women have not, since the beginning of time. The fact that Bristol Palin plans to have the baby - and not pay a doctor to murder it - will engrage some on the Left. But then, those folks enjoy being enraged. So really, everybody wins.

Democrats and Testicles

What is it with Democrats and testicles? Are they nuts? Let's review:

Last Sunday, the Reviled Jesse Jackson (a Democrat) said he would like to remove Barack Obama's testicles. He said it more crudely, of course, when he thought no microphones were on nearby. What he actually said was, "See, Barack's been talking down to black people on this faith-based—I want to cut his nuts out."

Jackson, a man of the cloth embarrassed by expressing his desire to violently mutilate another human being, quickly apologized and reassured everybody that he was fully supportive of Barack Obama's candidacy. This, of course, was more reassuring to Republicans and conservatives, for an endorsement by Jackson is hardly worth as much as Jackson himself thinks. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you are one.

Jackson's choice of words is interesting. Assuming that Obama's testicles dropped when he was quite young, as they should have, Jackson would want to cut them off, not "out." Perhaps Jackson knows something about Obama - an adult man who can't bowl a 40 game - that the rest of us are not yet privy to.

Jackson's apology rings hollow, of course. You don't say something like that unless you mean it, and Jackson said it. (By the way, has he ever issued an apology for his "heimi town" remark?)

Illinois Governor Rod "Testes" Blagojevich (a Democrat) bragged about his testicles. "This is the kind of thing that I think separates the men from the boys in leadership. Do you have the testicular virility to make a decision like that, knowing what's coming your way?" Blagojevich said. "I say I do." [Source]

Cook County Commissioner William Beavers (a Democrat) yelled at a reporter that "I'm the hog with the big nuts and I'm gonna tell you what it is." [Source]

Hillary Clinton (a Democrat) apparently thinks that women can have "testicular fortitude." Dig this, from The Swamp: "At a union-hall event in Portage, Paul Gibson, the president of the United Steelworkers Local 6787, was selected to introduce Clinton. In Gibson's words, Clinton was the kind of leader with the 'testicular fortitude' to make hard decisions." [Source]

It should be noted here that Mr. Gibson is a Democrat. Okay, that's weird, a guy saying a woman has testicular fortitude. Weirder still, Mrs. Clinton told the crowd that "Women can have it, as well as men." They can have the equivalent of "testicular fortitude" but not actual "testicular fortitude."

To believe otherwise is just nuts.

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Jesse Jackson continues to talk of apology - ABC-7, with video
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Mixed Nuts: E&P Tracks Media Coverage of Jackson Crude Remark
Liberal Hypocrisy: Jackson's Nuttiness Funny If About Cheney
The Political Power of Testes, Updated X1 And Moved To The Top
Woman jailed for testicle attack
USATODAY.com - Castration often fails to halt offenders
Malaysia minister backs castration for repeat offender rapists