Caught On Camera! Chicago Couple Gets Busy On Public Sidewalk

SHOCKING PHOTOS BELOW:
August 12, 2012 - Chicago - The shameless act of two Rogers Park residents was caught on camera yesterday afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny day in the Rogers Park neighborhood on Chicago's north side. I walked along the quiet 1000 block of W. Pratt Avenue, nestled between N. Sheridan Road and Lake Michigan.

Unexpectedly, I ran into a couple making love on the sidewalk, in full view of everyone. Children were nearby, and these two love bugs were completely uninhibited. They were aware of me, I believe, but continued their lustful act even as I knelt just inches away from them, camera in hand. This was the hottest cicada on cicada action I've ever witnessed.

I'm fairly certain that these were the Tibicen linnei species. One was approximately 1.5 inches long from "nose" to the back end of its wings. The other (the female?) was a bit shorter. Both of them were completely naked, naturally, as they exchanged bodily fluids and empty promises to love each other forever and ever. 

For those of you who thought you going to see a naked couple of humans getting busy, shame on you.

And here's a note to the imbeciles at Google AdSense: You're blocking ads on this blog for a damned post about insect mating, you morons.


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The Chemistry of Love

I am reminded that Valentine's Day is the next "holiday" coming up. The next big commercial one, anyway, and I spotted this story about love. Or lust, or chemical reactions. Whatever. Attraction to another is what we're talking about. According to a report at the BBC, a professor wrote an article for Nature in which he claims that love, or attraction to another, is simply the result of your brain's chemical stew and how it's being stirred up at any particular moment. All those dead poets were wrong, he seems to be saying. Professor Larry Young of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia contends that you really don't need tricks such as raw oysters, candy, or (one would suppose), baubles to set a romantic mood. Prof. Young may or may not like the notion or "romance," inasmuch as he's distilled the whole business down to flashing neurons and chemical reactions. Poor Prof. Young is probably very "book smart," but seems to know little about life outside the lab. I will tell you from first hand experience, shared with millions of other men over the centuries, that Prof. Young is full of crap. He has apparently never presented a bouquet of flowers to a woman, or seen a lady's eyes light up (and saliva begin to flow) when she is given an expensive jewel or a box of Godiva chocolates. Perhaps the good professor knows much about chemicals, and I don't doubt for a moment that what he claims is partially to blame for feelings of physical attraction to another. (Prof. Young, by the way, is not breaking any ground here; this theory has been put forth many times by many others previously.) While I agreed that chemicals and, yes, instinct play their parts in the whole scheme, I also know from decades of personally conducted experiments that gifts also play a role, contrary to what Prof. Young claims. Sure, those chemical reactions upstairs may help to open the door to the cellar, if you grok my meaning, but what the prof seems to not understand is that any chemical reaction needs a catalyst. A candle light dinner, a diamond ring, tickets to a play, or just a kind gesture and a smile can provide the catalyst that gets the chemicals reacting. I suggest that Professor Young get out of his laboratory and into a nightclub pronto. He might learn a few things that his test tubes and centrifuges can't teach him. Subscribe to Chicago News Bench

French Are Bigger Dicks

French men, allegedly, need larger condoms than Greek men. The geopolitical ramifications of this bit of news has yet to be measured. This news comes from a German company: The study by the Singen-based Institute of Condom Consultancy was done by asking 10,500 men in 25 countries to measure their penis and enter the number into a database. The results show Frenchmen on average claim to need 15.48cm-long condoms, about 3cm longer than Greeks, whose condom-size requirement was the most modest. (Source) The Germans are confident that, despite this news, they could take Paris in a weekend again if they wanted to. Greek officials have not returned our phone calls.

Political Genetics

Is there a Liberal gene? A Conservative gene? Maybe, say researchers. A study published in May followed nearly 400 identical twins and compared their voting and political preferences. The lead researcher, reports the Science Journal (WSJ), "found the decision to cast a ballot may be partly genetic." Sure. The ability to score a high SAT score or bowl a perfect game is "partly genetic." The significance of this study is yet to be determined. Imaging, though, selectively breeding only Conservatives! Ah, one can dream, but Conservatives can now confidently point to their Liberal cousins and feel genetically superior. Of course, the Liberals can now do the same thing to their Conservative cousins. One thing the Conservatives can take comfort in: Liberals are having far fewer babies in the Western nations. So, laugh while you can Liberals. The Conservatives are outbreeding you.