Monday, September 1, 2008

Sarah Palin's Daughter Is Preggers

Hey, now! How the heck did THAT happen? Bristol Palin, 17 year old daughter of John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin, has revealed that her daughter is in a family way. Now, mind you, it is unlikely that Gov. Palin had anything to do with the conception. Very doubtful. So, really, this is not a skeleton in a closet because it's an open secret. Wait, wait, it's not a secret. See? It will be fun to see all the Murphy Brown types belittle a young woman for getting pregnant out of wedlock, and for two reasons. First, because it would be hypocritical for that crowd to criticize a pregnancy made out of wedlock. This, of course, will delight the critics. (BTW, it is not hypocritical for me to defend Bristol. See, I don't mean to brag, but.... I, too, have had sex out of wedlock. Whew, there, it's out in the open. I feel better.) Second, because the Palins say that daughter Bristol plans to marry the "young man" who is the father of her child. That negates the Murphy Brown angle. This, of course, will confuse the critics, many of whom see marriage as a bad institution that should be destroyed but know that they can't yet openly attack it. (Say, wouldn't a Rose Garden wedding be lovely?) I mean, it's not like the pregnant Palin daugher committed a crime. You know, it's not like Joe Biden's Son, Brother Involved In Hedge-Fund Scandal or like Al Gore's Son Arrested Again on Drug Charges. It's not even like Ted Kennedy's son crashes in police chase, you know? This should make Democrats very happy. ("But, Tom, why will that make them happy?" you ask.) Because they know that Gov. Palin will soon become a grandmother. That's a beautiful thing. Democrats, with their professed recently-raised standards of "family values," will welcome another baby into the world. They will see this as a beautiful addition to a beautiful family. It's beautiful. I'm getting misty eyed. There are other reasons, of course. Traditionally, Democrats have been against abstinence-only sex education. So, it should please many Democrats to know that Gov. Palin's daughter, uhm, did not abstain, just as hundreds of millions of other young women have not, since the beginning of time. The fact that Bristol Palin plans to have the baby - and not pay a doctor to murder it - will engrage some on the Left. But then, those folks enjoy being enraged. So really, everybody wins.