Fail - Crack Head Tries to Sing Amazing Grace (Video)

Oh dear Lord, please, do not let this man anywhere near my funeral.

Blogger Blows Police Operation

The Bench would like to correct an error from yesterday's post, "Crack Den Dispersed at 1135 W. Lunt Avenue." We reported that "36 Cook County Sheriff's deputies" were amongst the law enforcement officers that busted up an alleged crack den at 1135 W. Lunt. In fact, it was three deputies, not 36. Damned typos!!!

It is unknown whether any of the officers are gay, but at least one gay man is known to reside in the building.

RELATED: UPDATED: Crackheads Frighten Blaine Roberts!

UPDATED: Crackheads Frighten Blaine Roberts!

CORRECTION! When I wrote this post on June 21, I said that Mr. Roberts was wearing "satin pants." My source says that they were actually cotton pajama pants! So there. He was wearing cotton pajama pants.

Who was that man running frantically down N. Sheridan Road in his pajamas on Friday night, June 20?

Why, it was Blaine Roberts! Blaine, you see, was freaked out around 11:00 p.m. when he saw "eight crackheads" in the hallway of his apartment building on the 1100 block of W. Lunt Avenue. Frantic, he ran out of his building, wearing nothing but some cotton pajama pants and a "dago tee." So frantic, in fact, that he apparently forgot to grab his cell phone. Roberts ran across the street to Sonny's Foods, his cotton pajama pants flapping in the ensuing breeze, to call the police.

This is especially ironic, and quite delish. Young Blaine is an employee of Heartland Alliance, the folks who recently brought Blaine's neighbors two doors away and unexpected gift: On May 1, Heartland snuck a rehab program into 1145-50 W. Lunt Avenue (see ""). Dear Blaine was present at that "residents only" meeting, although he does not live there. He was allowed into the meeting because he was there as a spy for his employer, Heartland Alliance.

No, The Bench did not hear this on the police scanner. One of my many sources related the story to me. My source witnessed Blaine's tribulations personally.

After he called 911, he dashed south one block to park it at Leona's. Apparently Leona's has no dress code, and he sought refuge there - from the same kind of folks that his employer, Heartland Alliance, tells the rest of the community to embrace.

One wonders if Young Blaine made the 911 call as "Mister Anonymous." Blaine, a close associate of Rogers Park activist Michael Harrington and a 2007 Don Gordon campaign operative, has probably put some street clothes on by now.

RELATED:
Drug Rehab on Lunt Avenue Not Kosher
Lies on Lunt

Photos: Crack Smokers on the Front Porch

Rogers Park, a rough neighborhood on Chicago's northeast side, harbors many drug dealers, public drunks, and crack houses. Here, in Alderman Joe Moore's 49th Ward, neighbor and fellow blogger Craig Gernhardt caught several locals smoking crack - on a front stoop in broad daylight! See * Smoking Crack @ Peter Sterniuk's House now! One of the women, whom Craig has dubbed "Crystal," is a known two dollar whore and thug hag. Nice work, Craig.