Exclusive: Alderman Moore Cuts Off Own Finger

On Sunday, November 4, Chicago Alderman Joe Moore severed his own middle finger on his left hand. This comes to The Bench from reliable sources. The 49th Ward Alderman was trimming a tree in the back yard of his house on Fargo when the saw he was using found an unintended target - his middle finger. His current girlfriend was in the yard with him. "I think I just cut off my finger," Moore said calmly, according to sources. "Oh my, you should see a doctor," said his current girlfriend in a masterful understatement. Alderman Moore was rushed to a nearby emergency room, where he was given very heavy sedatives and a quick reattachment of the severed digit. Moore spent most of Monday in the company of a hand surgeon. He was offered more extremely heavy sedatives. There is speculation that Moore's act of self mutilation was not entirely accidental. Some sources say it may have been an unconscious act of repentance for snubbing the Rogers Park Garden Group's recent award ceremony with Mayor Daley. Further Reading: Self-Injury - Why Do I Keep Cutting Myself? Self-mutilation