Monday, September 21, 2009

Joe Moore Tour Starts Today (Sept 21)

Today is Day One of Chicago Alderman Joe Moore's "Autumn Tour." He and his underpaid staff will travel hundreds of yards through the wilds of the 49th Ward, for the selfless purpose of campaigning for some future election. He won't spend a dime of his own money on the "tour," of course. Nope, the money he'll use will be from a combination of past campaign donations, theoretically funds that he allegedly got from allegedly leaning on developers, and some of your tax dollars. Here's his release blasted out by email. We encourage you to go say "hi" to Joe, and to ask him about his association with ACORN, SEIU and any other quasi-criminal enterprises you can think of. Ask him how his felonious buddy Robert Creamer is doing. Congratulate Joe Moore for rubber stamping Mayor Daley's Olympic wet dream. Alderman Moore's "Satellite Service Office" to Conduct Autumn Tour Dear Neighbor, The 49th Ward Service Office takes to the streets again this fall with my "Satellite Service Office." My underpaid staff and I will be out in the mornings to meet with you, take city service requests and help you carry your briefcases to work. If you are reporting a city service need, very specific information is helpful. If it's a burned out street walker or a crackhouse, for example, please provide a specific address where it's located. If it's a suspicious vehicle, we can remove it more quickly if you have already gone through it thoroughly to be sure there are no illegal substances inside. Please stop by and say hello on any of the following dates from 6:30 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. I'll be the big dorky guy with a goofy grin, ready to hand you a piece of my propaganda literature. Monday, September 21, Howard el station (Howard St. entrance; good view of gangs) Tuesday, September 22, Morse el station (Morse Ave. entrance; pigeon crap warning!) Wednesday, September 23, Loyola el station (Sheridan Rd. entrance, co-eds!) Thursday, September 24, Morse el station (Lunt entrance, where there's less pigeon crap) Friday, September 25, Jarvis el station (Watch your step; watch out for human feces!) Tuesday, September 29th, Metra station (Lunt Ave., entrance; good view of litter!) Wednesday, September 30, Metra station (Greenleaf entrance; bring me a donut!) Thursday, October 1, Shoreline Towers (Rosemont Ave. & Sheridan Rd; boring!!!) Friday, October 2, Dunkin' Donuts, 6970 N. Clark (Hablas tu cafe?) Monday, October 5, Starbuck's, 6738 N. Sheridan (The "big box" of coffee shops!) Tuesday, October 6, Gateway Centre Atrium (Bally's Health Club entrance; nice glutes!) My underpaid staff and I will also be at the following weekend locations from 8:00 a.m. to 12 Noon, long before most of my voters actually get out of bed: Sunday, September 20, St. Jerome's Church (Lunt and Paulina; that rhymes with.... !!!) Saturday, September 26, Dominick's Finer Foods (Gateway Centre; I built this mall!) Sunday, September 27, St. Margaret Mary's Church (Chase and Oakley; I am so pious!) Please note that this schedule is subject to change due to inclement weather or me being arrested by the FBI. I mean, who knows, right? I will send a supplemental e-mail if the schedule changes. I'll pretend that I'm glad to see you! I'd rather be a Congressman, Joe Moore Cool Hats & Shirts for Cool Conservatives Leave a Comment... Chicago News Bench RSS Feed We're on Twitter...