Friday, April 10, 2009

Joe Moore, Der Food Fuehrer

A message from 49th Ward
Alderfuehrer Josef Moore
April 10, 2009 Our Local Food Supply and Clean Water for All--The Next Green Workshop
Subjects, How does the food we eat affect our water supply and our planet? What can we do right here in our own neighborhood to encourage more healthy and sustainable farming practices? Join us for the latest WHY WATER MATTERS HERE workshop "Mouse Feces Bread & Moldy Water: Our Local Food Supply and Clean Water for All." The workshop will be held this Monday, April 13th, 6:30 p.m., at the Loyola Park Fieldhouse, 1230 W. Greenleaf (at the Lake), 2nd Floor. Restaurants know the importance of water. Take the Heartland Cafe, for instance, at 7000 N. Glenwood. Recently, they were shut down for a moldy ice making machine, among other reasons. The slime mold growing in that machine was cross contaminating water and other beverages served with ice. Owners Michael James and Katy Hogan learned a hard lesson about clean water for all, after having served filthy water to customers for God knows how long. Sub-standard health and sanitation practices make people sick. Take the buffalo burgers at the Heartland Cafe, which may or may not have been contaminated with some of the mouse feces that city inspectors said was "throughout" the restaurant when they were cited for multiple "critical" health code violations. Callous exploitation of customers and a total disregard for their health is a major cause of many of our personal and societal ills. We'll ignore those problems, however, because Michael and Katy have been political allies of mine for years. Instead, we'll go after mega-farms and foie gras. We'll look at how urban agriculture would increase the amount of manure going into the city's sewers and so into the lake, at how farmers markets cannot hope to offer prices as low as a supermarket can, and other things that provide political opportunities for local hacks like myself. Joining us will be Gaia Bookworm, founder of The Land of Communism. Gaia will talk about why the current way most crops are raised in the U.S. is not sustainable, does not provide us with fresh, nutritious food, nor protect our wetlands, rivers, streams, and lakes. Please be sure to ask Gaia how people who live in apartment buildings can grow crops in their living rooms, and how 300 million people can be effectively fed by poorly tended crops in people's private yards. Learn how The Land of Communism is training new Illinois farmers in sustainable practices, working to keep land in agriculture, and supervising farmers with political officers. Find out more about communist agriculture. We'll also be joined by Willie Mayes of Farm Sanitation, who will allege that large industrial farms are destroying our water quality. Find out how living on a Third-World diet saves both water and energy. Ask Willie about the unsanitary way in which much organic food is handled, and whether limiting yourself to 800 calories a day is a good idea. Next we'll bring it home to our own backyards. Joining us will be Rogers Park resident Spleen Rosewood. Spleen and his dad, Toby, own and operate Earth Worm Farms, an organic apple orchard in Michigan. No matter how profitable they become, of course, I intend to prevent them from being allowed to expand into a mega-apple farm. By the way, you should grow apples in your apartments. Corn, too, and keep a goat in your kitchen for a sustainable milk supply. They also raise chickens in their backyard in Rogers Park. Think about the chicken shit going into the ground, then leeching into the ground water. You think that doesn't attract rats? Don't kid yourself. How about the smell? Imagine waking up every morning to the smell of chicken crap, and listening to the cackling and crowing every night. Spleen will provide an overview of the operation of Earth First Farms and the importance of organic farming to our health and the environment, despite the smell, noise and less effective methods of presenting clean food to market. He'll also talk about their Rogers Park chickens and how raising them has led to a more healthy and sustainable lifestyle for his family. Perhaps they could start raising buffalo in his yard, too. Finally, my fat wife Barbara Moore will discuss the effort she's leading to establish in summer, 2010, the Glenwood Sunday Market, an international-style farmers market at Glenwood and Morse, one of the most dangerous parts of the north side. Learn about our Glenwood Sunday Market plans and how you can avoid the crack dealers and flying bullets. Hold your breath as you walk through the Morse Avenue CTA station, unless you enjoy the smell of urine and bad incense. We have a communist agenda and sincerely hope that you will join my overfed wife Barbara and me in our quest to lead Amerika back to the 18th Century. Joe Moore Visit the website of the 49th Ward Chicago News Bench RSS Feed CommieBama Hats and More