Bloody Cock Meat, Damn!

As part of this weekend's Homo-Pa-Looza extravaganza here at The Bench, we're trying our hardest to find stories that fit. You know, stories into which that we can sensibly work words such as "blow," "hardest," "suck," and ... well, you get the idea.

This brief restaurant review should fit nicely. Sizzle on Broadway (a.k.a. The Pumping Company) serves food. Bar food. Decent for the most part. But watch out. The kitchen may or may not have tried to assassinate my last night.

I ordered the fried chicken special, a half chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and garlic green beans. Those were okay, and I ate some of those while I let the fried chicken cool down a bit. The half chicken included one wing, of course, and I ate that, too.

I must assume that the meat was from a male chicken, also called a "cock." Hens (female chickens) are generally reserved for egg laying.

During the whole experience, the air conditioning ducts above me dripped condensed water down my back. I tolerated the one-drop-at-a-time rain shower with humor.

The supple, meaty thigh was still too hot to handle, which I realized as I picked it up to bite into it. I set it down and cut into it with a fork. That's when the blood oozed out of the chicken. Red blood, lots of it, oozed out. I cut into the breast and got the same result. I thanked my guardian angel that I did not bite into that undercooked chicken.

You can enjoy the fried chicken dinner special too! Sizzle is located at 6157 N. Broadway Street in Chicago's beautiful Edgewater neighborhood. For reservations call (773) 465-9500. They seem to be gay friendly, but I didn't actually ask.