President Obama, Congressman Joe Moore, Alderman David Fagus

Are you ready for Congressman Joe Moore? Oh yes, my friends, if Barack Obama keeps this up, he may well win the Democrat nomination. Now, suppose Obama wins it all and becomes our Next President? I am not making this up. Honestly. Democracy in Rogers Park will take a step backward, as if that is possible! The Bench has sitting on this for while now, but only today had an epiphany thanks to a woman much wiser than I am. Here's the hypothetical skinny: U.S. Senator Obama becomes President, leaving his Senate seat vacant. Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky, wife of convicted felon Bobby Creamer, is appointed to fill that seat. She becomes U.S. Senator Schakowsky. (Her husband remains a crooked scum. Sorry, Bob, the promotion won't take that stain off of you.) With Schakowsky's seat in Congress vacant, 49th Ward Alderfart Joe Moore will be named to fill her seat, thus becoming Congressfart Joe Moore. Who will fill Joe's $400 Italian shoes once he's gone off to Washington? Why, none other than David Fagus, currently the evil 49th Ward Democrat Committeeman. That's right; he will become Alderman David Fagus. Sorry, Jim Ginderske, you probably won't get it. And your little dog Wee Wee won't be able to tag along, either. You both carry water well, but not well enough. So who will fill Fagus's vacated Committeeman position? Not now, I'll tell you early next week, boys and girls. And you thought the Democrat Party was "Democratic?" Ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahaha! Oh, man, that's funny!