Drowning Man Keeps Sinking

Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2007 From: "Isaac Marshall" To: rogersparkbench@yahoo.com Subject: Isaac Marshall has left a new comment on your post "Isaac Marshall, Safety Expert, Chides RPB": Thanks for the special attention on your blog. I will capitalize on your blog in the future, because it is obviously soooo important. It is also funny how you want to connect me to some other blogger just because of some silly similarity. I was accused of being another commenter on the Broken Heart Blog too. People spend way too much time trying to make these connections to validate some kind of meaningless point. Yo, Isaac - Broken Heart and I "connected" you to "some other blogger" because you write as stupidly as she does. Your logic and common sense should also be questioned. I guess you need your blow hole ripped too! Yo, Isaac - I had my blow hole ripped last night, don't need it again today. I'm still sore! So what is your obsession with lifeguards using the perches? You think it makes such a huge difference in the protection of the swimmers/bathers? Next summer, go to the beach and see how often the perches are utilized between Touhy and Pratt(I do mean weekday mornings and nights and not just hot weekends and holidays). They are rarely used. Instead the boat is used unless there are large crowds. Yo, Isaac - First, since your have now written about as much about this as I have, you must be equally obsessed. Second, if the perches make no difference, why are they even there? Why would the cash-strapped Park District waste money on something that is, as you put it, "rarely used?" And if there are large crowds, then what? Also do you know how many drownings there are each summer on public patrolled beaches in Chicago? There are so few that your safety concerns seem pointless. The boats are used as a barrier in front of the swimmers. As you obviously know(since you are a know it all) that people can only swim up to chest deep water(even that is at the discretion of the lifeguard). It seems that the lack of use of those important perches is inconsequential. Yo, Isaac - Please tell us how many drownings there are. Then tell us how many traffic deaths there are. Then tell us how many codeine overdoses there are. Then tell how your twisted logic justifies the use of boats - or even lifeguards - since there are so few drownings. You make a good case for not putting perches, boats or lifeguards out there. So few drownings! How many traffic deaths occur at the average school crossing? None! Why waste money on crossing guards? In regards to lifeguards being used to remove the perches: Are you saying that lifeguards were not present patrolling or sitting in boats on the beach when the perches were removed? If that is the case, then sure it is a problem. More likely, they did the task on a break. I still insist it saves money and is not a big deal, but I guess you need those big perches for your sanity. Yo, Isaac - Had you read my original post carefully, you would have noticed that I wrote about the 16 or so lifeguards busy playing catch and chatting a hundred yards from the beach. Now that's lifeguarding! Are you saying that while the lifeguards were busy dragging the perches off the beach they were paying attention to everyone in the water? Another bit about your wonderful piece is your chat with lifeguards. Many of these guards start at 16, and are not professionals like they have in California and Florida. They might have been dumb or they just might have been giving simple answers so you would stop bothering them. I would bet the latter. Yo, Isaac - None of the lifeguards I spoke to seemed to be "dumb," as you assume they might have been. In fact, they all seemed rather bright. All of those I spoke with seemed to be about 20 or older, including some guy who was probably in his forties. You weren't there; I was. Their answers were not "simple," as you wrongly assume. Thanks for your recap of your swimming career. Loved it! Yo, Isaac - Swimming "career?" I never claimed to have had a swimming "career." Oh, wait. Ha! I see what you did there! That was sarcasm, right? Right?!? Was that sarcasm? Man, you got me there! My swim cap is off to you! Hooo ha ha ha ha ha!