Vegans Are Piles of Dead Plant Compost

Wait until the LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered) groups hear about this. "A new phenomenon in New Zealand is taking the idea of you are what you eat to the extreme. Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals." No doubt, these "vegansexuals" will soon demand that a "V" be added to LGBT, making it "LGBTV." But will it stop there? Will the vegansexuals start demanding new legislation, new rights, new privileges? Will "carnivoresexuals" be far behind? Lots of us hated vegetables as kids and still do in adulthood. Perhaps they have an equal aversion to people who love lima beans? These folks are, well, nuts. That's not all bad, of course, because nuts fit into a vegan diet. Unless, of course, you're ordering the Rocky Mountain Oysters, in which case "nuts" would not go well on your salad. The report goes on to note that "Many female respondents described being attracted to people who ate meat, but said they did not want to have sex with meat-eaters because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses." This, of course, is madness and shows a complete ignorance of biology. Yes, meat eaters' bodies are made up of whatever their own bodies can extract from the flesh they consume, but to say that their bodies are "made up of animal carcasses" is akin to saying that vegans' bodies are made up of piles of vegetable compost. It's stupid, frankly. Perhaps these folks should remember that they themselves are composed largely of meat, regardless of how many bowls of granola or free range, organic cucumbers they consume. That must disgust them. How they must wish that their own bodies were vegetable rather than animal. When they look in the mirror, the self loathing must be overwhelming.