Can Alderman Joe Moore Stop The Killing?

From: "RogersParkBooster" To: rogersparkbench@yahoo.com Subject: New comment on Bugging Out, Tucking In. Cicada eating. What have we become? We can only hope Joe Moore steps in FAST and introduces an ordinance in that august body, our very own City Council (or does the CC really just belong only to the Alderguy's friends?) to ban such cruel and potentially health damaging activities here in the 49th ward. Why such a ban you might reasonably ask yourself? Friend, the risks are great and immediate. The challenge looms over our citizenry today! We owe it to our children to address this issue, before it becomes endemic in our society. First of all, these cicadas you are proposing to eat have not been inspected by the city health department. No cicada inspection fee has been levied or collected. Thus, this potentially illegal activity has not as yet added in any way to the the city coffers. These 17 year cicadas belong to the Citizens of Chicago, and as such can not be consumed with out proper inspection, certification, and the collection of appropriate user fees. Second, there is a clear and pervasive public health risk posed when citizens congregate to gorge on cicadas. Both the legs and wings can negatively impact the health and welfare of the consumer. In the course of overindulging, both the legs and wings can trigger the natural purge/gag reflex. This phenomenon is most likely to affect young women, especially thin blond college age women who have also consumed alcoholic beverages while consuming cicadas. When triggered, this reflex can expose non-eaters to second hand cicada. The health and environmental risks are obvious. In fact, cicadas may represent a new form of gateway activity, leading to the consumption of other banned gastronomical substances. Just as slang terms for drug use are common, the youth culture has embraced the term munching bugs to describe the uncontrolled or peer-pressured consumption of cicadas. While no data is as yet available, there are indications that early consumption of cicadas can lead to the consumption of other banned foods. Additionally, the cruel and inhuman treatment of these most beautiful creatures, by those who insist on eating them, should be considered. These cicadas have been cooling their heels in the muck and the mire for 17 long years, waiting for their big prom night to roll around. And we all know what teenagers do on prom night. Yes, it is the moment all red-blooded 17 year old cicadas dream of (not to forget that they are red-eyed too). The prom dresses come off, and the cicadas get down. Can you imagine their pain? Can you imagine their despair? At the very moment of their most perfect cicada joy, the completion of the great cicada circle of life, the moment they have quietly imagined for their 17 long insect underground years, that very moment when their exoskeletal existence is finally justified, they are snatched from the very claws of ecstasy and flung into the saucepan of our greedy lives (along with garlic, olive oil and white pepper). Is this Right? Is this Just? I for one say NO! I for one say this must Not Stand! I for one say Rogers Park is better than this cruelty! We can only hope our representatives in the Chicago City Council will stand and fight to set right this injustice, and to protect the community from its long term effects. In the past, they have demonstrated the wisdom and leadership necessary to rid our city of the scourge of Foie Gras. Now, rampant cicada eating is raising its ugly head in our community. Unless stopped, this plague will leave Rogers Park the laughing stock of northern Illinois. The citizens of the adjacent states, Wisconsin, Iowa, Indiana, Missouri, and Kentucky, as well as the people of the world are all watching. What will they see? Please Joe Moore, I implore you! On the behalf of all of Rogers Park, I call upon you to do your duty! Cicada eaters are among us. Save us from them, and save them from themselves! RPBooster