MOORE THE MARRIER - UPDATED

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: WEDDING BELLS ARE RINGING FOR CHICAGO ALDERMAN JOE MOORE!!! THIS IS NOT SATIRE. CONFIDENTIAL SOURCES INSIST THAT THIS IS TRUE. MOORE HAS BEEN TELLING SOME PEOPLE THAT TOMORROW'S EVENT WOULD BE AN "ENGAGEMENT PARTY," BUT THE BENCH HAS BEEN TOLD THAT, IN FACT, JOE MOORE WILL BE MARRIED TO LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND BARBARA.

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49th Ward Alderman will be married in the 48th Ward

Mar´ri`er
n.
1. One who marries
2. Alderman Joe Moore

In an exclusive story, The Bench has learned through a network of spies and informants that 49th Ward Alderman Joe Moore will get married on the afternoon of Saturday, June 7, 2008.

The top secret location: 5455 N. Sheridan Road in a party room that has been used for DFA meetings in the past. The fact that Moore is getting married in a high rise will be sure to make people wonder about how he feels about preserving the lakefront in his own 49th Ward, just up the road.

Oops! Secret's out! And by the way, that's in Ald. Mary Ann Smith's 48th Ward!

Why is Joe Moore not getting married in his own ward? Inquiring minds are, well, inquiring even as I write this.

Moore will take the woman he has been living in sin with for some time now, Barbara Something-or-other, as his bride. Will she wear white?

Ms. Something-or-other has been busy writing a lot of Alderman Moore's speeches and plotting out the future of his political career.

Both she and the alderman are big backers of Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Now that Obama has pretty much locked up the nomination the timing for a wedding seems right.

There is no word yet as to whether Barack Obama, Mayor Richard Daley or Howard Dean will be at the wedding. No word, either, as to whether the bar will be open or cash. Please bring a valid photo I.D. and a check for at least $10,000 made payable to "Citizens for Joe Moore."

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