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A Glorious Weekend Awaits You in the 49th Ward!

Howard El Grand Opening, El Flag Day Celebration and El Art Festival Headline Los Weekend Events!

Amigos,

Saturday promises to be a very busy day in the 49th Mental Ward.

Topping off the events is the official Grand Opening of the new Howard El Station. I actually had nothing to do with this project, but I'm going to hog in on the glory of it. Join CTA President Ron Huberman and me as we cut the ribbon for the new station on Saturday, June 14th at 2 p.m. The new station is located immediately north of the CTA parking garage at Gateway Centre.

Billions of CTA commuters have already used the station since its unofficial opening last Monday, and I've heard rave reviews from many. Oh, there are still drunkards and crackheads pissing and crapping in the stairwells late at night, and there is often life threatening danger on the street just outside. But it looks nice, doesn't it? It's certainly a significant improvement over the old station. If you haven't had a chance to visit the new station, stop by the ribbon cutting ceremony and check it out! Be sure to tell your life insurance agent that you're going to this dangerous part of Rogers Park!

Earlier in the day, Congresschick Jan Schakowsky will headline a Flag Day Celebration at the Lake Shore Rehabilitation and Health Centre, 7200 N. Sheridan Road (at Touhy). This makes even me laugh, because Jan is all in favor of letting people spit on the flag - or even burn it! The ceremony will take place on Saturday, June 14th at 10 a.m., and will feature a flag raising ceremony and flag etiquette demonstration by cadets from the Rickover Naval Academy. This makes me laugh cynically, too, for Jan and I are both rabidly anti-military and secretly hate those little baby-killers-in-training. But it makes for good press, so what the hell.

Finally, stop by the "Artists Up Against the Wall Festival" in Loyola Park. This also makes me chuckle. To think that people are so freeking stupid that they pay $30 to be able to paint over a really shitty, chipping wall. Ha! Their pitiful "artwork" will look like crap before Thanksgiving. Anyway, the 15th annual fest runs from 9 a.m. to dusk Saturday and Sunday. More than 100 area artists and wanna-be artists collaborate on a 500-foot mural along a wall that was poorly prepared, same as they did last year. Thank God there are so many stupid, gullible people in the 49th Ward! THe wall extends roughly from the Pratt Pier to the Morse Avenue streetend. This year's theme is "Blow Me," inspired by my past efforts to obtain oral sex from women near a sculpture called "Wind Form." Appropriate, eh? Hey, while I have your attention, be sure to watch the little video below, done by my pal Tom Mannis over at The Bench!

This weekend is just another reminder that we live in a neighborhood!

Laughing my ass off,

Joe Moore